Industry Figure Tom Chappell

Scene:
    Beaver Valley, Pennsylvania.
    The Beaver Valley Nuclear Plant, Security Gate.
    Tuesday, April 18th, 2006.

A big semi tractor-tailer TRUCK arrives.

TRUCK DRIVER 1: We’re here to pick up that equipment that the contractors have been using to remodel your nuclear plant.

GUARD 1: Sure, we’re expecting you. Ah, we’ve got to inspect the truck, though. Say, what’s that duffel bag doing? It’s locked, too. I’ll need the key.

TRUCKERS: Yeah, we don’t have the key, alas.

GUARDS: Oh yeah? The interesting thing is, we’ve got bolt cutters, and…snap!
Say, wait a minute…there’s a half-million dollars in this bag!

TRUCKERS: Our boss was planning to buy a new truck soon? Possibly with this cash?

The GUARDS contact the TRUCKER BOSS on the phone.

TRUCKER BOSS (over phone): Money? What money?

GUARDS [in unison]: This is all very suspicious.

TRUCKER BOSS (over phone): Listen, TRUCKERS, just drive away, I’ll send another truck for the equipment, just take off.

GUARDS: Alas, it’s not our job to stop guys from leaving, just to stop them from entering.

The GUARDS contact the POLICE.

The POLICE stop the TRUCKERS about a mile away from the plant.

POLICE: So, what about this money?

TRUCKERS and TRUCKER BOSS [in unison]: It’s a Mystery!

DRUG DOG: Bark!

POLICE: Our DRUG DOG says there’s drugs!

But no drugs are found. Of course, most money in the U.S. has drug residue on it, and any random half million dollars in small bills in circulation probably has a noticable amount, especially if you’re a trained DRUG DOG.

POLICE: Well, I guess we don’t have any reason to hold you TRUCKERS here. Surely, this is not suspicious, terrorist-wise, that men were trying to drive an empty semi-trailer into a nuclear plant with a half-million dollars in small bills. You men are free to go.

POLICE: But we’re keeping the money, of course.

Read the Full Story in The Beaver County Times & Allegheny Times.
“Nuke plant riddle: Whose $504,000?”
April 20, 2006

…or here in the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette.
“No One Claims $500,000 Stash in Truck”
April 20, 2006