Industry Figure Tom Chappell

WASHINGTON - At a hearing today held by the Senate Armed Services Committee investigating the horrible abuse and torture of Iraqi prisoners at the Abu Ghraib prison near Baghdad, dangerous right-wing fundamentalist idiot Sen. James Inhofe shocked those who had never before heard him speak.

“I’m probably not the only one up at this table that is more outraged by the outrage than we are by the treatment,” said Inhofe, an Oklahoma Republican and well-known asshole.

“I am also outraged that we have so many humanitarian do-gooders right now crawling all over these prisons looking for human rights violations, while our troops, our heroes are fighting and dying. These prisoners, you know they’re not there for traffic violations - If they’re in cellblock 1-A or 1-B, these prisoners, they’re murderers, they’re terrorists, they’re insurgents. Many of them probably have American blood on their hands and here we’re so concerned about the treatment of those individuals.”

When asked to explain this novel interpretation of Christ’s teachings, prominent religious leaders stressed that Inhofe is an Oklahoma Republican and well-known asshole.

Globe & Mail 11 May 2004